HOLLYWOOD – Trashy snow-women have now stepped up to plate to fill the void left from the alarming absence of non-stories. A litany of troubled snowmen have infiltrated clubs and drug rehabs lining Hollywood Boulevard, attracting the attention of the paparazzi by stepping out of cars without panties or scarves and covered with a white powdery substance.
The media has been asking what has happened to our nation’s celebuwrecks questioning their commitment toward screwing up their privileged lives. Even with Britney Spears increasing her driving altercations to once-a-day this left the press with hours in which nothing really did happen.
Dylan Garrison of Entertainment Inside said thank God for the recent flurry of skanky snowmen. “If I were Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton I’d be worried. There is no guarantee we will stalk them forever – we may move on to snowmen or meter maids. We’re an unpredictable bunch.”
Others are looking ahead to the big picture.
A spokesman close to ex-Met Bud Harrelson was asked to comment on recent reports of Lindsay’s shopping addiction, “Sorry that’s not going to cut it. I’m afraid some of these young women are too naïve how this works and are straightening out their lives. It may be a long time before I see Lindsay Lohan's name in the news again for drunken driving or something and as a result it’s going to be the snowman now enjoying the glare of their spotlight....er, sorry, I gotta run, I'm being paged about some breaking story...”
Previous Today's Snowman Stories
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- World's Most Important Snowman Contest 2008 Is On!...
- The Inconvenient Truth
- Hamish & Henry & Bob
- Happy Thanksgiving
- Snowman Goes to Plate for Lou Gehrig
- This Week's Snowman Cartoon
- Frosty Projection for Our Planet
- Retraction! Celebuwreck Lull Pronouncement Prematu...
- Celebuwreck Lull – Snowmen Pick Up Slack
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